Happy Booby valentines day to me. I have had a recall as they found a lump on my bi annual slammogram (mammogram) a few weeks back. It has been a horrible few weeks waiting and wondering, as they NEVER tell you anything on the phone. One day I’m fine and the next I am crying as I watch a lady walk across the pedestrian crossing with a scarf on her head. “That’s right you lose your hair with treatment,” my tormenting mind tells me. At the Super Clinic this Valentines morning I am in the 3 person queue. We go through 1 at a time to see the nurse then come back in gowns. Waiting for stage 1 of intense squashing and probing. I have to read the forms and then am handed a biopsy form to sign, “just in case” I refuse to sign it and prefer to pick up my mustard seed of faith and expect it to grow into a mighty tree of faith within the hour. I will use my seed and believe. I am then asked if I have brought a support person. Good grief, wrong thing to say nurses helper. Talk about self loading yourself with adrenalin , which causes my heart to do its woopsies. Calm your farm mumma. You can do this.
Its valentines day so surely Feb the 14th is a good day. It was my Nana’s birthday too so I mentally send her up a happy heavenly birthday thought whilst trying to control my mind. As the 3 of us sit in the waiting room braless and hanging free in our blue gowns I recall the odds of the 1 in 3 theory. How awful that the odds are 1 of us will not get good news today. I feel guilty because I want that person to be me but in order for it to be me, they have to have a life changing event happen to them today. I am called through first and go to the plastic fantastic gunna squish you like a flat mat machine, only to be warned there will be severe localised squishing on the “target” spot. Happy place happy place where are you? It’s flipped and flopped and definitely flattened but soon my turn is over. Back to the waiting room to pretend to watch TV while I wait for them to inspect the results and then go through to stage 2. In comes a lovely young doctor fresh out of Kindy, who will now enlighten me and my bits about what is actually going on. She asks me to come over to the Xray to see “it” The little white spot looks the size of a sweet corn my grandson passed multiple times in his nappy change the other day. “This is what we are looking at,” she starts to explain as my head is like OMGOSH and oh this is real now and please just call me a lumpy old cow that doesn’t have cancer.
On our Xrays today where we squished and targeted the spot, it disappeared.”
“Oh what does that mean?” I ask with still way too many thoughts racing in my head.
“It’s a good sign. Cancer doesn’t just disappear it shows up better and I cannot see anything so I am going to do a scan to double check for both of us.” she stated. “This is good news for you.”
I ripped that gown off so fast and plopped my double floppies out and let her scan away.
“ALL CLEAR see you in 2 years.”
As I walk out skipping on cloud 9, I thank God for my Valentines Day present and I ponder back to the 2 ladies undergoing their results. I almost want to go into the waiting room and yell I’m the lucky one, but that would make me not just a lumpy old cow but a mean one too. Good luck ladies and here’s hoping we do a hat trick today. I silently go back to my car instead and message the good news to my support crew ……..