Seriously! When you are in charge of 4 wheels, one would expect that you have passed your licence legally and it had not been handed to you when it fell out of a cereal box. Yes for some of us ‘older’ people, we got goodies that fell out of cereal boxes.   Not cool when you were one of 12  children and had to wait for your month to get your turn but since I am talking about driving a wheeled object, I’ll lay my deprived childhood aside.

Whilst out this morning I encountered not 1 but 2 drivers who didn’t care about anyone else but themselves.

I am heading down my side, on a mission but clearly watching ahead and doing the  required left and right precaution look, when suddenly the first she driver pulls out right across in front of me.  She did not look to see if anyone was coming.  Right then Left then Right was what I remember being taught.   But no, across she came cutting me clean off.   I was right on the speed limit too but I did manage to stop without all my possessions being forced into one pile in the front.  That was the exact moment that, that childhood memory flashed into my disgruntled mind. Licence- cant drive – licence – cereal box – licence- must have fell out CAUSE YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!   After catching my breath and readjusting the horrible look that had escaped on my face, I managed to smile at the back of her head and carry on past.  I had only just gone around the corner after leaving Ms Cut off Cow,  when I encountered another female with erratic driving.  More break fluid was used as I suddenly realised not only was she erratic but she was going at snail pace and going diagonally across the lane.  With smoke freshly seeping from my shoes, I thought it would be best to maybe undercut and go on the inside of her.  Technically that is the lane I was in so it would seem natural to continue but then she stopped dead in her mid diagonal movement, leaving me almost going clean up her rear.

These drivers are the worst.  They take up both lanes and don’t allow anyone to get past and appear to be oblivious to anyone around them and to the hassle they are causing.  Having to stop completely for Ms Diagonal Dipstick and wait while she scratches every part of her body and contemplates on whether she should move back to my lane or continue to the other side, still without looking,  I find my patience is wearing thin.  I cant go left and I cant go right as now someone is coming down the right side towards us.  She has selfishly claimed the whole 2 lanes  and I am left wondering  if I am ever going to make it to the end of my day without anymore cray crays on the way?

3 minutes in a stalled shopping trundle is way too long for anyone.  Come on shoppers.. keep your speed up and there is no need to itch, scratch, pick ,flick or stare blank faced when you should clearly know where your items are in the isles……