My son gave me his old phone. To him it was old but to me it was brand new and more so, up to date and full of features destined to blow my mind and enlarge my mental capacity to get with this new technology.  I was still operating on an S4 but now I was about to leap quite close to the latest out there. Change is not something I look forward to but I will do it in my time. I just need a clear head space and not when everyone is demanding something from an already overloaded hard working Mother/Nana/Wife/give me give me give me situation. You know exactly what I mean don’t you? We need that hot drink or maybe some of you a good cold one, and utter silence to know that this time is my time. Leave me alone to decipher, understand and embark on this new “thing” that I have to conquer in the 5 minutes I have because that is probably all I will get until a crisis hits that silence that will force me to leave. My boys eagerly tell me “Just take both phones with you mum, ask for a mini blah blah and upload all you want to blah blah then download blah blah and blah blah will be sweet and I promise it will all work the same as your old one.” Oh gosh can I really remember all this and then expect to operate this new phone?   Yes I think I can, I tell myself, just like that little train could.  Soon I am at Spark. Yes that stupid name they gave Telecom that makes me feel like a little kid in a Sunday School class ready for my lessons on how not to call someone stupid because it is bad manners. Oops too late.   The store is packed and busy but I want my phone done today so I queue and wait my turn.   Finally standing before me is a young Spark and I am happily using all the new words just learnt an hour before so that I don’t look stupid (there’s that word again) and that I look way more intelligent than my aged old body has lead him to believe otherwise.  I mention the uploading and downloading aspect of transferring my contacts and data as perfectly as my son explained to me only to be told “Oh there is an easier way.  Just down load Smart Switch onto both phones.”  he enthusiastically tells me.  Darn!  He knows more than I do.  I reluctantly have to ask him what smart switch is  and he shows me with 2 phones how you load and connect and then put the phones together.  Right now I have to alert you to foot and mouth disease or is it simply why don’t you think it through in your head, sound it out silently to see if it is right and non embarrassing for anyone within your hearing range, certainly not in a busy packed small shop AND pre listen before it actually leaves your mouth.    He is holding up the 2 phones together and the words of “just like this” have only just escaped from his lips when an Avatar vision pops into my head and I blurt out “Well that brings a whole new meaning to phone sex doesn’t it?”