While my Aunty was moving house she needed to borrow my car and trailer and since I own the much needed tow bar and the trailer we do a swap for her little white bubble car. I look at it and think it is cute and it might be fun to whizz around in that for the day. It is a 2 door but I wasn’t going to hold that against my Aunty or the car. It is not until a few hours later that I remembered I am on school pick up duties. In my opinion a 2 door car and children are not usually a good mix but, since this was helping out my aunt then we should manage just fine. Nearing the school pick up time I take the booster seats to the car and open the front door to start hunting for that magic lever that flips the seat up and away allowing you to enter the doorless rear. It is nowhere to be seen and lack of time is starting to get me a little frazzled. Surely I am not that thick but time is ticking and I seriously need to make some headway to get these seats in the back. Because I am not wanting to look like a complete idiot I choose to op out of texting my aunt to ask where the invisible lever is so with intact pride and I decide to just slide the seat forward as far as it will go. Then I use the other lever that tilts the seat forward a little. I am still reaffirming repetitive thoughts that this is one stupid invention of a car and if any parent wants to put their kids into the back seat everyday as a normal activity then they themselves must need to be mentally assessed. My troubles have only just begun as I try to manoeuver the booster seat over the folded forward front seat without much success. I had not 1 but 2 large booster seats to get over this seemingly incredibly hard hurdle. No matter which way I tried to shove it, manipulate it, push it or place it, it was not going into the back seat without some serious juggling antics. My sweat was starting to become more than just beads of beauty on my face and were quickly turning into endless runs along the forced lines of red exhausted rosacea veins. 10 stinking minutes of acrobatic movements and I was closer to tears than any form of success. I was so frustrated and upset that all I wanted to do was suddenly curl up in the foetal position and cry for my mummy and hope the world just kept on spinning while I sucked my thumb in utter baby contentment. These booster seats were now robbing me of going to this new happy place and all I could visualise was a sledge hammer smashing the foam shaped bum planters into a million piece jigsaw puzzle. Expressive words were also trying to escape direct from my frustrated mind. With whimpering sobs and a final forceful shove the gates of heaven opened up and finally we all managed to land in the back seat albeit all upside down. definitely no dignity left now but I was ever so grateful that I live rural and there was no neighbour to witnesses anything or start a gossip tale of my twisted torso in an embarrassing position. Aunty you are so lucky that you are oblivious to your nieces weird antics but this WILL be the last time you ever swap this 2 door nightmare. With barely any time left I drag my fresh hand wiped brow and I make my school dash knowing that yay they are in there but nay they are going to have to come out somehow. I make my time dash and am standing there waiting for the perfect cherubs to come and see what bubble of a surprise Nana has in store for them. They excitedly hold my hand as we go off to the car park and find my aunt’s car that Nana is borrowing. No 2 wants to be first in so I lean in and lift the seat forward to let her start what I assume might be a mount Everest climbing attack. Whilst struggling with the bent over Nana look I peer into the back seat and there I spy Grandy No 1 already seated.
“How did you get in there?” I ask, absolutely stunned.
“Through the door Nana'” she replied.
“What door? This is only 2 doors”
“No Nana its got 4 doors.”
I am gobsmacked. I have to go outside and look and sure enough, this little white bubble car had 4 perfectly blended in white doors……