If any dye it person tells you it is easy then I bet their nose is so long they have to fold it in half and tuck it away and any elephant would be jealous.  This is hard once your shake powder runs out and your mentor goes back to her own life and all family carry on in their world.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am grateful and so they all should carry on with their lives but I guess its like a baby learning to walk for the first time.  They are going to fall over a few times before they get the hang of walking and I need to be like that baby. Just get back up and not worry or spend any longer than necessary about the down time.  Sadly the bread was delicious, the sponge cake was even better and the 3rd slice was heaven.   Well for 10 minutes anyway.  Now I sit sulking because my pregnant stomach is mocking me and protruding so much.  I swear it is saying ha ha got ya back into those old habits and oh so easy.  My head is furious with my weaknesses.  I do not  like this feeling.  I am so bloated and it is very uncomfortable.  Hopefully that means my stomach had shrunk quite a bit on Herbie so although I am feeling quite yuk right about now, perhaps it is a good reminder that what I would usually tolerate is no longer good for me.  See I am from that generation that was told under no uncertain terms that you ate EVERYTHING on your plate and to remember about all the starving children overseas who would be grateful for what I had to eat.   So I ate it all.  Every little crust every little crumb and if mother wasn’t looking I would lick that plate so clean you would think it had been washed.  I still lick the plate today especially if it was pudding orientated.  Of course when I think no one is looking.    I now have to dig deep and remember what I have been taught.  To smooth away, reinvent those beans, pan fry those cute roast potatoes called chick peas, pile the veges on, LEAVE certain breads alone and definitely don’t touch the cake.  I have to promise myself that this is not forever, but only until I can conquer those unrestrained urges that appear to be still controlled by my emotions and still too close to the surface to ignore…..