I know its been a while since I posted so for me that’s a big deal but I have to confess I have been deliberately hibernating.  Trying to ignore the realities of life and trying to pretend that all is well with the world.  Okay the world is not well as we all know but I’m pretending my world and what happens in my world is all well,  yet it is not.  It’s funny how we appear to tackle the big issues in life head on and usually straight away but we tend to let the little things niggle away and pick at sore spots and still ignore them. They slowly fester until all these little unimportant things become one great big exploding bomb.  Whoever is in the crossfire wonders, was that really necessary and what on earth was that all about in the first place.  We know its only 1 of those little things that was actually the last straw.  The last tiny weeny piece to be put on the about to explode pile that caused such a massive mess to the unsuspecting normally nice person left with remnants on their possibly now scarred mind.  We’re ALL guilty of this aren’t we?  Somewhere at some stage in our walk of life otherwise if you confess to, “no never me:, then you better hope you don’t cross my personal path as I’m guilty in this department of unfair molehill/mountain flinging.  My NY goal was healthier eating and starting with stay away from lollies.  It was to pick 1 thing out of my bad diet to tackle. It was my intention to slowly turn around these 1 at a time named nasties so that I did not fail in my attempt to eat better.  Yet fail I have hence why selfishly hibernating from admitting and being accountable to all.  I can still honestly say I have not had a lolly since NY day however, chocolate biscuits, cakes, breads and anything else sweet or what I know as fattening and not really a meal, has now not only continued but increased.  I have in my mind thought, well I didn’t confess to any of those things just yet so lets just devour them in what ever quantity before I have to give them up.  Needless to say not a good idea and not good for weight management or overall health.  It has reminded me of my “measure”.  I believe we each have a measure that we unknowingly participate in when we try to accomplish anything on any level.  Be it a new hobby, job, or a simple task like weeding the garden (okay in my garden that’s a mammoth task 🙁  ) or reading a book etc.   I believe this measure is vital when we have something serious to attempt and unless we understand ourselves and our measure we will fail.  I am attempting to give up certain foods to make sure I give my body the best chance of continuing for quite a few more years and also that if something should happen in my body that I may not be able to control re genes, then it will be in its best form to fight whatever it has to.  Taking it slow and taking out 1 food item at a time was a measure I knew would fail but I tried to make myself believe that this time it would be different. I have some bad habits and before you all cough and say oh not me, I know you do too.  Lucky I’m not asking for your confessions and may never know them but, if you can understand “your measure” then you will have success if you apply that measure.  My husband was a smoker before we ever met.  We have been together for 36 years  and he has never smoked in that time.  He tells me he went cold turkey 6 months before he met me and his reasons were it cost too much to buy a packet.  So he simply quit on the spot.  Made a decision and stuck to it.  I admire anyone who can do that with anything as it is extremely hard to do cold turkey BUT that is his measure and how he handles things. He knows personally its all in or all out.  There is no half measure for him. Some people can wean themselves off slowly over weeks and be very successful and that is their measure. So if you can understand that if you mix those measures then you will fail.  I have no doubt if hubby had tried to wean off then he would have failed and still be smoking today and I a non smoker would have probably not ever gone out with him in the first place.  That sounds harsh but I’m being honest here.  Now relating this measure to me, I once played a game on Facebook.  Some farm thing that grew well because I spent a lot of time growing my veges and tending my animals and NOT tending my real life animals or house chores.  I tried to allow myself a few hours a day but the pull was too strong and found my self consumed with growing my FB farm.  That was when I learnt about my measure .  I knew in that addictive moment I had to delete Farmville completely off my computer and block it and NEVER go back.  My measure was the same as my husbands.  Cold turkey.  Suffer the withdrawals on whatever level and whatever extent because that is the only way I will win.  I can’t  do halves and I can’t do 3/4s either.  I must measure as a whole.  It must be all or nothing and that is why I am hiding because today is measure day for me and I can’t put it off any longer.  There is pain around the corner and I can already feel it.  There is withdrawal around the corner and my body is contemplating severe reactions.  Therefore I am confessing it all must go or I will have to settle for Fatty Arbuckle and a shorter unhealthy life.  So Fatty Arbuckle is going as of today.  No more lollies, no more chocolate, no more sweets no more bread ( because I consume plenty of that mmmm love my bread) no more anything.  I must find a horrible diet shake or something other than food to kick start my health restoration so I WILL NOT FAIL.  This is how I have to do it for me and my successful measure at this point in my life.  What is your measure?  …….